My Heart is Broken!!!!

Hi everyone! I know it's been a while since I posted, and I have missed blogging terribly.  I've been working a lot of over time and by the time I get home, I just can't find it in me to blog.  This post isn't a very happy one.  I have some sad news.  My precious Maggie had to have eye surgery Friday to remove her left eye.  This has left my heart broken!

This picture was taken 1 week ago from Friday when I took Maggie to see her vet because her eye had turned a hazy blue color.  I thought she was just going blind in that eye, so I hadn't prepared myself for anything worse.  When I called to check on her last Friday Dr. Mattie suggested that I take her to a place in Cordova called Advanced Animal Eye Care.  That's an hour away from where we live, but that didn't matter to us!  Dr. Mattie said she thought she might have glaucoma and that she had a small ulcer on her eye also.  That Friday I called and made Maggie an appointment for this past Wednesday to have her eye looked at.  I couldn't get off work to take her on Monday, so I had to wait until Wednesday.  If I had of known then what was really going on, I would have called in sick on Monday and taken Maggie there right away.

After 4 days from Friday, this is what her eye looked like on Wednesday, when we took her to the specialist.  The ulcer had grown tremendously.  I could tell it was really hurting her, and I felt so bad for her.  Anyway, Dr. Miller (the specialist) said she had a descemetocele ulcer.  He said these are normally caused from an injury to the eye.  For the life of me I can't figure out what Maggie could have done to her eye.  Dr. Miller did say that he thought he could repair the eye, but that he could get in there and end up having to take the eye out if the ulcer had gotten too deep.  I asked how much this would cost and honestly about passed out.  The cost for her surgery would be $1500.  I knew at that moment that I was going to be failing Maggie as a mom, because there was no way that I could afford to save her eye.  Dr. Miller was even going to charge $1200 just to remove her eye.  I had no idea what we were going to do.  I called my vet back home and she said that she could remove the eye for $150.  I knew that was the only route we could go.  I was sooo sick to my stomach because I was failing Maggie!

Below is what Maggie's eye looked like Friday morning before I took her to the vet.  I can only imagine how much pain she was in.  I held it together pretty well until I took her inside to drop her off for surgery.  I totally lost it at the moment.  Everyone at the clinic assured me that Maggie would be just fine.  I knew I had to have faith and stay strong.  Of course I totally lost when I got to work too.   Most people don't understand how a person can get so upset over something like this.  They say she's only a dog.  Maggie is more than a dog for me, and I know most of you can relate.  She is our daughter.  I've had her for 13 years, and she has brought me through some very tough times.  Anyway, later in the morning I called to check on her and she had made it through surgery just fine.

I tried to prepare myself for how she would look, and it didn't look as bad as what I thought.   I brought her home Friday evening and she seemed to be doing pretty well.   Yesterday was a different story.  I had to work, so I wasn't able to be home with her.  Thank God that Tony was able to stay home with her.  She seemed to be in a lot of pain yesterday, so Dr. Mattie met Tony at the clinic and gave Maggie a shot for pain.  Her eye was swollen pretty bad, so she gave her an antibiotic shot also and sent some antibiotics home with her.  She also called in a prescription for pain meds. Here's Maggie on Friday after I got her home.  I have cried and cried for her.  I know she doesn't understand what's going on.

As most of you know Maggie is handicapped already due to her back, so she is having a very hard time adjusting.   She doesn't want us to get out of her sight.  If we leave the room, she just cries and cries.  I just don't know what to do for her.  We take her out and she won't even try to use the bath room...she just sits in the yard and cries.  All I can say is that my heart is broken!  I want to make her feel better and for her to know that everything will be okay.  I honestly think she is scared.  Does that make sense?  I know there are some dog experts out there, so does anyone have any advise as to what I can do to help her through this?  I can't get her to eat today either, therefore she's not getting her meds.  I have her on the couch with me as I type this, and this seems to be the first time that she has rested since Friday night.

Sorry for such a downer post, but you all know Maggie, and I wanted to share with you what's going on with her.  Please send some prayers and love her way for her to get better soon.

~Peace~Love~Happiness~